Rock the Suburbs/Suburban Sprawl Party 2005

Dear Friends:

"Poorly planned development threatens our environment, our
health, and our quality of life in numerous ways.

Sprawl spreads development out over large amounts of land;
puts long distances between homes, stores, and job centers;
and makes people more and more dependent on driving in their
daily lives.

Sprawl pollutes our air and water. As reliance on cars and
pavement of more and more roads increases, so does smog and
pollution from water runoff. Today, more than half all
Americans live in areas where the air is unsafe to breathe.
Sprawl destroys more than two million acres of parks, farms
and open space each year.

Sprawl increases traffic on our neighborhood streets and
highways. Sprawl lengthens trips and forces us to drive
everywhere. The average American driver currently spends the
equivalent of 55 eight-hour workdays behind the wheel every year.

Sprawl wastes tax money. It pulls economic resources away from
existing communities and spreads them out over sparse
developments far away from the core. Taxes subsidize millions
of dollars worth of new roads, new water and sewer lines, new
schools and increased police and fire protection at the
expense of the needs of the core communities. This leads to
degradation of our older towns and cities and higher taxes."


F-yeah.  I may be living in a diverse, wimpy, liberal
south-side neighborhood and going to a medical school with a
patient base of underserved minorities, but don't think i've
forgotten my roots!  That's why I've decided to make my fourth
annual "Rock the Suburbs Christmas Party" a joint celebration
of the wonder of surburban sprawl in which we were all raised.
So, leave the faucets running in your apartments, hop in your
SUVs, laugh at people taking public transportation, hit a bike
rider (double points if it's rory), swing by Wal-mart to grab
some food to bring, and head on over to my parents' house in
lake zurich.  It's going to be great.  Some other non-sprawl
related attractions, if you aren't won over yet:

-old embarrasing photos of me from middle school - (think
newman from seinfeld)
-complete access to the fabled 'forbidden room'
-my mom will give you enough fuel to make fun of me with for
the entire year to come
-chocolate covered pretzels
-the bathroom full of snowmen that watch you do your business
-it's been far too long since the cat's been tortured
-we can get my underage sister drunk
-mini hot dogs (my specialty)
-if you poke him hard, my dad might talk
-the suburban debut of My Masterpiece Will Be a Burning
Museum's cover of "Dreidel Dreidel Dreidel"
-possible appearance by the elusive keith meicher

I'm certain there will be many other wonderful surprises in
store as well.  Now some details:

Tentative Date : Fri, Dec. 23rd
Time: 7:30pm
Location:
1623 Bayview Dr.
Lake Zurich, IL, 60047

If you'd like to come but can't make it that day, let me know;
If it doesn't work for many people, I can change it.  If you
are driving in from somewhere and would like to stay over, you
are more than welcome - i'll make breakfast the next morning.
If you want to bring some
food, great! Just let me know so we don't have 20 plates of
the same cookies. Does anyone want to organize a grab
bag/white elephant gift exchange sort of thing? Invite/bring
all of your friends/loved ones/anyone i've forgotten that you
want.

I hope things are going well for all of you and that I hear
from you soon. 

love,
-will